


Paradise Equals Hell

by bornforwar_archivist



Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-06 12:46:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11036469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornforwar_archivist/pseuds/bornforwar_archivist
Summary: By EphyHercules and Iolaus have been taken prisoner by Ares’ new Warlord… And her blond sidekick.





	Paradise Equals Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Delenn, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Born For War](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Born_For_War), which closed in 2015. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Born For War collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bornforwar).
> 
> Disclaimer: Don’t own em- can you say stupid question? 
> 
> Sex: Implied 
> 
> Subtext: NO, NO, NO- EVIL 
> 
> Violence: Eh 
> 
> Rating: PG-13 
> 
> Summary: Hercules and Iolaus have been taking prisoner by Ares’ new Warlord… And her blond sidekick. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: This takes place in s3 sometime AFTER Bitter Suite… Now I know- I didn’t sub Eph for Gabby but she is in here… *Hears you all sighing of relief* (yeah right) 
> 
> Sequal: Most likely 
> 
> Ok, am I done?? I think I’m done…

Ares walked into the tent in a very good mood to check on his prisoners. There were two of them, chained to the wall. Of course, they weren’t just any prisoners though.   
  
“Ares!” Hercules shouted. “How did you pull this off and what makes you think you’ll get away with this?”   
  
“Well, who’s left to stop me?”   
  
“Xena!” Iolaus shouted. Suddenly they noticed a figure standing in the doorway, laughing.   
  
“And why on earth would I want to do that?” It was Xena.   
  
“Xena?” Hercules was amazed. “Wh… Wh…”  
  
“Ooh, gotta get that fixed.”   
  
“I don’t get it.” At least Iolaus could talk.   
  
“Well, it’s quite simple.” Ares explained as Xena walked towards him. “You got the boot,” turned to look at Xena. “And I got the girl.” He leaned down and they kissed a very passionate kiss.   
  
‘I don’t believe this.’ Iolaus thought. While Hercules was thinking ‘He’s kissing my girlfriend.’ Just then there was a knock at the door. They stopped kissing but didn’t answer, they just figured he/she would come in.   
  
“Would you PLEASE say something so I know I’m not gonna walk in on you again?” Ares and Xena laughed as Gabrielle walked in the room.   
  
“Gabrielle, what are you doing here?” Iolaus asked.   
  
“And what do you mean again?” Can you say- Jealous Hercules? Gabrielle decided to ignore Hercules.   
  
“Hey… Where Xena goes, I go. One of the disadvantages to being a side kick, but you know all about that don’t you… Sweetheart?”   
  
“What’s the problem Gabrielle?”   
  
“A difference in opinion.” Ares left to see what was going on. “You too are getting a bit hot.”   
  
“So?” Xena asked. “What’s it to you?”   
  
“This is gonna change the plan, huh?”   
  
“Nope, why would it?” She left the room. ‘Plan, what plan? What the hell happened to them?’ Hercules thought.   
  
  
  
Xena was in her tent getting ready for bed when Ares appeared.   
  
“So, how does it feel to be back?”   
  
“Why did I ever leave?”   
  
“Did you figure a way around your little problem?”   
  
“What problem? We take the shortcut.”   
  
“But then you’ll be in Amazon Territory.”   
  
“Who cares? I sent word to Ephiny telling her to move or be killed.” She said walking towards him.   
  
“Oh, gods I missed you!” he kissed her and soon the laid down on the bed. Of course, they hadn’t though that they were throwing shadows. When they laid down they heard a series of cat calls from Xena’s men who came to watch the show.   
  
“Good night, boys.” Xena shouted as she blew out the candle and after moaning form a while they left Xena and Ares to there evening.   
  
  
  
The army was on the move. They had just entered Amazon Territory.   
  
“This isn’t good.” Ares said. “They shold have attacked by now?”   
  
“You want them to attack?” Xena asked. “Your wish is my command. Yayiyayiyaiyayi!” Just then the Amazons attacked. Solari ran over to Hercules and Iolaus, cut them loose and got them out of there. Ephiny rode up Xena. “Thanks Eph.”   
  
“Yeah well, next time you pose as a bad guy PLEASE tell me. I lost sleep over that one. Amazons move out, we got what we came for!” Xena turned to Ares.   
  
“You didn’t honestly think I’d let you hurt Hercules and Iolaus did you?”   
  
“I trusted you.”   
  
“Stupid move!” Gabrielle shouted from behind Xena who gave her the look. “Bye!” Gabrielle retreated with the Amazons.   
  
“Oh yeah, just so you know.” Xena said. “Last night was the best I’ve had in a long time.” She smiled and flipped into the trees, the way an amazon would. Ares smiled, they would be together someday… Only the fates knew when.   
  


The End


End file.
